Zero talent

Someone I met said this about himself, “If one is exceptionally talented, one must learn to handle pride well”.
So must an animal trainer at a very large circus with a pride of lions.

No I didn’t think that up right when he said it. I was too zapped trying to quickly figure out what his exceptional talents were. Maybe his true talent was in Self-dabba (like we called it in Telugu land)

On an unrelated note, I have an important question. If one were in a book about vampires and werewolves, or playing a part in the Twilight movie franchise and one were to moon the human form of a werewolf, would we see a transformation and the subsequent death of one’s mooning character?

Ignore that. Was just an attempt to deflect the gaze of your thoughts from considering my ‘talents’.

Historically, Talents (wiki : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talent_(measurement) ) have been at the root of many serious arguments. Those terrible kinds of arguments where people are killed and the cleaning up is a bitch.

The Talent was a unit of mass in ancient times, and a corresponding unit of value equal to these masses of a precious metal. The mass of water required to fill an amphora was the accepted mass of the talent.

Here in lay the problem with Talents. Amphoras were normally filled with more essential spirits, mostly good mead or wine. For the calibration to be performed, this mead or wine had to be emptied first. This hurdle was easily scaled with the mead being uniformly distributed down the throats of the team that was doing the calibration. (note: In ancient times, everyone drank. The term teetotaler was yet to be invented)

As a result of the inebriation of these teams of measurement people, a Greek talent was measured at 26 kgs, a Roman talent at 32.3 kgs while an Egyptian talent was 27 kgs and the Babylonian talent weighed in at 30.3 kilos. (I kid you not, especially about Baby-loanians, whose civilization was based on loaning out their babies. The original child-star parents. It didn’t last for obvious reasons)

When trade happened between ancient Babylonia and Egypt for example, differing talent measures meant Blood, Riots and Wars.

So like I was saying there has never been an accepted measure of talent. Right down to this day, when a guy can’t call himself ‘exceptionally talented’ without another getting riled up enough to heckle him online in a wasteful burst of words.

Now you can moon me if you think you are exceptionally talented in that department.

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